When to Worry About Your Child’s Anxiety (And What to Do Next)
If you’ve landed here, you’re likely trying to figure out how to best support your anxious child. You’ve come to the right place. Anxiety is a natural emotion, and many children experience it at different points as they grow. At the same time, when anxiety starts to affect your child’s day-to-day life, it’s important to know that there are supportive steps you can take.
Wondering whether your child’s anxiety is typical or something that may need extra support can feel overwhelming. This post is meant to help you think through that question with clarity and confidence.
If you’ve been worrying about your child’s anxiety, here’s what to know, and what to do next.
Anxiety in kids is common, but context matters
Childhood is filled with ups and downs, and it’s common for anxiety to pop up from time to time. Your child might experience nerves the first time they give a presentation in front of their class or try a new activity. Nerves around new experiences are a normal part of growing up.
However, if your child is constantly worried, experiencing physical (somatic) symptoms or having a hard time getting out of an anxiety loop, it might be more than just general growing pains.
I believe anxiety exists on a spectrum, but I often invite parents to consider the intensity and the frequency of anxiety your child feels on a daily basis. If it comes and goes during stressful events, it doesn’t always require extra support, but if anxiety is more persistent, frequent or hard for your child to manage day-to-day, it may be a sign that additional support could be helpful.
What’s considered typical anxiety in kids
I’ve written a more in-depth post about the different types of anxiety in children, which I encourage you to check out. For now, here’s a simple way to think about the difference between typical anxiety and anxiety that may need extra support.
Many kids feel anxious around separation, school transitions, social situations, or performance-based activities like tests or sports. What often matters most isn’t that anxiety shows up, but how your child responds to it and how much it impacts their ability to move through daily life.
Typical anxiety tends to:
Be tied to a specific trigger or situation
Ease with familiarity or time as confidence builds
Come and go rather than stay constant
Allow kids to continue participating in daily activities, even if they feel nervous
While I recommend support, even for kids experiencing fleeting anxiety, it doesn’t always mean that something is wrong. For many children, anxiety lessens as they gain confidence, experience success, and build coping skills. It may spike during stressful periods and then settle again once things feel more predictable.
This kind of anxiety can feel uncomfortable for kids and parents alike, but there is usually some more breathing room before looking for more support.
When anxiety starts interfering with daily life
This is one of the most important things to consider when trying to understand your child’s anxiety. When anxiety starts interfering with daily life, it’s usually a sign that more support would be helpful.
For example, if your child is having a hard time falling asleep at night due to anxious thoughts or getting them to basketball practice feels like an impossible task, it might be time to look more in-depth at what is going on. In other words, is anxiety shrinking your child’s world?
When anxiety consistently makes it harder for your child to try new things, talk to their friends, develop confidence, or leave their comfort zone, it’s a clear sign that anxiety is interfering with their daily life.
Looking at patterns over time (not one hard day)
Children have hard days and hard weeks, just like us, and it is important to recognize the difference between an anxious moment and a persistent pattern of anxiety. A spike in anxiety after a tough or uncomfortable experience like a sudden change or transition, a bad night’s sleep or an intense amount of homework doesn’t automatically mean something is wrong.
A pattern will often be a clue to what is really going on with your child. For example, if every time your child goes to a friend’s birthday party they melt down and insist they do not want to go, it may be anxiety bubbling beneath the surface. It’s also important to consider, is their anxiety increasing, decreasing or getting harder to manage.
Looking at the bigger picture helps take some pressure off individual moments and allows you to make decisions from a place of clarity rather than fear.
Listening to your instincts as a parent
If I can invite you to take anything away from this post, it’s that you can trust your instincts as a parent. You know your child better than anyone. If you’re noticing signs or shifts in their behavior, emotions or routines, it’s often worth pausing to gather more information and consider whether additional support might be helpful.
Some children do really well with guidance and support from parents and caregivers alone, while others benefit from having a neutral, outside support person. Both are valid and needing extra support doesn’t mean you’ve missed something or that you have done anything wrong.
What to do if you’re concerned about your child’s anxiety
If you’re still feeling concerned about your child’s anxiety, small, meaningful next steps can often be the most supportive. You do not have to try to “fix” everything right away.
Start by creating space for you to gather more information on your own. You’re already doing this by reading this post. When you’re feeling supported, create space for connection a conversation with your child. Being curious and open does a long way in inviting your child to speak about how they’ve been feeling.
Together, it may be helpful to take note of when anxiety shows up most. You also can take time on your own to pay attention to your child’s triggers and what seems to help or worsen anxiety. It may help you feel more equipped to decide what more support might look like for your family.
If anxiety is starting to interfere with daily life, reaching out for professional support can be a helpful next step. Therapy doesn’t mean something is “wrong,” it’s simply another layer of support to help your child build coping skills, confidence, and emotional understanding. It also can be a place for you to gather more information on your own too. I often offer one-off parent calls for caregivers who aren’t quite ready to enroll their child in therapy.
Most importantly, remember that you don’t have to navigate this alone.
How therapy can support anxious children (and parents)
Therapy can be a supportive space for anxious children to better understand their emotions, build coping skills, and feel more confident navigating everyday challenges. Rather than focusing on “fixing” anxiety, therapy helps children learn how to work with it in a way that feels manageable and empowering.
Support often extends beyond the child. Parents are an important part of the process, and therapy can offer guidance, perspective, and tools to help caregivers feel more confident in how they respond to anxiety at home.
If you’re curious about how therapy can help anxious children or what therapy looks like with me, I’ve shared more details in those posts.
A Note for Parents
If you’ve found yourself pausing while reading this and wondering whether your child might need extra support, that pause matters. You don’t need certainty, a diagnosis, or a crisis to take your concerns seriously. Paying attention, staying curious, and seeking guidance when something doesn’t feel quite right are often some of the most supportive things a parent can do.
Therapy is a great starting point to help your child learn the individualized tools that can help them express, understand, and cope with their anxiety in their daily lives. To learn more about how I approach anxiety in therapy with my young clients, set-up a phone call via my contact form here.
