Understanding Coping Skills: A Simple Guide for Kids, Teens, and Young Adults
Coping skills might sound straightforward, but actually using them in real-life moments can feel unfamiliar or even uncomfortable for many people. If you’ve ever heard someone say “just use a coping skill” and felt confused about what that actually means, you’re not alone. I also think sometimes therapists forget that not everyone is throwing around the phrase “coping skill” that often.
Coping skills are strategies that help you tolerate, minimize, and manage stressful or emotionally difficult situations. They support you in regulating your emotions, lowering stress in your body, and helping you return to a more grounded version of yourself so you can function at your best. The goal is for your baseline to feel more manageable.
Think of coping skills as tools to help you lower your baseline and feel more at peace and less rattled by things you cannot control. Fine-tuning your coping skills takes practice, commitment, and time. They’re also individual to you, and it takes some tweaking to play around with what works for you and your life.
The Two Main Types of Coping Skills:
There are many different coping skills, but most fall into two categories: distract and soothe.
Both serve a purpose, and both can be helpful depending on what you need in the moment.
1. Understanding “Distracting” Coping Skills:
Coping skills that aim to distract are not the same as avoidance.
Distraction simply gives your brain and nervous system time to shift gears so you can approach the stressor with more clarity and less activation.
This might look like:
watching a show
listening to music
doing a simple chore
going for a walk
calling a friend
getting out of the house for a bit
The goal isn’t to run away from your feelings. It’s to take a momentary step back so you can return to the situation feeling steadier and less triggered.
You come back to the stressor once you feel more grounded and regulated, not overwhelmed.
2. Understanding “Soothing” Coping Skills:
Soothing skills help bring your emotional and physical state back to equilibrium or baseline. They often involve sensory comfort or activities that regulate the nervous system directly.
This can look like:
deep breathing or meditation
using a stress ball
wrapping up in a soft blanket
asking for a hug
offering yourself gentle self-talk
engaging in an activity that feels nourishing
Soothing skills help you reconnect with your body, soften your stress response, and settle into a more balanced emotional place.
Which Coping Skills Are “Best”?:
No coping skill is better or worse. It’s truly about what works best for you. In reality, it’s often a combination of the above that helps in the most triggering of situations. I’m a big believer in trying to help ourselves 5% at a time.
What matters most is awareness. Coping skills aren’t meant to make everything perfect; they’re tools to help you feel supported, grounded, and more in control when life becomes overwhelming.
Learning which skills help you most is an ongoing process, and it’s completely okay to try different things until you find the ones that truly feel supportive.
Final Thoughts:
Coping skills are for everyone, kids, teens, and young adults because stress is unavoidable. The more you practice using coping skills intentionally, the easier it becomes to navigate emotional ups and downs with confidence and care.
If you want to learn more about building emotional regulation, supporting your child or teen, or strengthening your own coping toolbox, you can explore more resources on my blog or reach out to schedule a session with me here.
