How Therapy Helps Kids and Teens Build Confidence
A lot of parents come to me because their child or teen seems unsure of themselves, whether it’s anxiety, perfectionism, fear of making mistakes or simply not knowing how to trust their own voice. Seeing your child struggle with self-esteem can be difficult for any parent, but confidence takes practice and time.
There’s a misnomer that confidence is about being the shiniest star in the room, but in reality everyone gets to cultivate their own flavor of confidence, self-efficacy, and inner knowing.
Therapy can help kids and teens build confidence in grounded, meaningful ways by giving them support, emotional skills, and the space to better understand who they are.
If you’ve ever wondered how therapy actually strengthens confidence, here’s what that looks like in real life:
Confidence Isn’t What Most People Think:
Many adults think that confidence is the same as being bold, social or extroverted. While that can be true for some, confidence is really deeply connected to security. True confidence is about feeling secure enough to be yourself even when things feel uncertain or uncomfortable. It’s about how quickly you come back to trusting your own inner knowing.
Tangible confidence can look like:
trying something new without melting down
bouncing back from mistakes more quickly than before
speaking up when something feels wrong or isn’t a match for them
asking for help when needed
trusting their own opinions, ideas, and internal voice
independently completing tasks
problem-solving in social situations
Therapy focuses on helping kids build lasting self-trust.
Therapy Helps Kids Understand Themselves and Build Real Skills:
Confidence grows (and remains steady) when kids and teens understand themselves better and have tools they can actually use. In therapy, I work with my clients to learn to name their emotions, recognize what triggers their anxiety, and understand when they lead with confidence or insecurity. Like most of us, kids and teens need time to get to know themselves, make sense of how they feel (as much as we can), and learn to have compassion for the growing pains.
While insight is an important component of self-esteem building, concrete strategies are also necessary. Therapy gives kids and teens a place to practice tools that can be used in real-life moments, like:
coping skills to calm their bodies and minds during stressful events
grounding techniques for big emotions
simple communication and assertiveness skills (often practiced through role-playing)
problem-solving steps they can use at school or with friends
reframes for perfectionistic or anxious thinking
For so many, understanding that confidence take practice and is often not innate, helps self-esteem to grow over time.
Therapy Helps Kids Tolerate Discomfort and Keep Going:
A huge part of confidence comes from learning that you can handle uncomfortable feelings and still move forward. In therapy, kids and teens get to practice trying, struggling a little, and regrouping, all in a safe and supportive space with a someone in their corner. This helps them learn that mistakes are a part of life and that moments of uncertainty are natural and okay.
Over time, your child or teen will develop a sense of confidence by:
pushing through challenges without shutting down
recovering more quickly after frustration or disappointment
taking small risks that feel doable
speaking up even when it feels uncomfortable
repairing after conflict
bouncing back instead of spiraling
When kids learn that they can tolerate big emotions and come out the other side, their confidence grows in ways that feel real and lasting. Most importantly, when confidence wavers, they will be able to tap into their sense of self-trust in those moments.
Parent FAQ for Confidence in Kids and Teens:
How does therapy help kids build confidence?
Therapy helps kids understand their emotions, learn coping skills, and practice navigating challenges in a safe space, which builds steady self-trust.
What type of therapy works best for confidence in kids?
Child-centered therapy, emotion-focused approaches, and CBT all support confidence by teaching emotional awareness, problem-solving, and communication skills.
How long does it take for kids to build confidence in therapy?
Every child is different, but most begin showing small signs of confidence, like taking risks or using coping skills within a few weeks to a few months.
Can therapy help perfectionistic or anxious kids?
Yes. Therapy gives anxious or perfectionistic kids tools to manage pressure, tolerate mistakes, and build resilience, all of which support real confidence.
Final Thoughts:
Confidence doesn’t grow overnight. It’s built slowly, through practice, support, and small moments of courage. Therapy gives kids and teens the space to understand themselves, learn real tools, and grow a sense of confidence that feels steady and genuine.
If this resonates with you and you’re exploring therapy for your child or teen, I’d love to connect. You can reach out to schedule an intro call with me here.
For additional tips on raising confidence kids, check-out this article from the Child Mind Institute.
