What Overthinking Is Really Trying to Protect You From
Here’s the thing about overthinking — it’s working over time to keep you safe. Overthinking often is a byproduct of anxiety. There are many signs that you may recognize in yourself. If you can think about every possible situation that can occur before it happens, you’ll be safe. Sound familiar?
This is what overthinking does. It’s a protector, but oftentimes, the wires get crossed, and overthinking becomes over-protective rather helpful.
Here are the key things overthinking is really trying to protect you from.
Overthinking tries protecting you from:
Vulnerability and being known — Letting people in and showing the real you can lead to rejection, and analyzing situations beforehand feels like the way to stop that. In reality, overthinking is causing you to miss out on all the people that are going to love you.
Emotional pain — Some emotions are uncomfortable to feel, and overthinking can sometimes turn into intellectualizing, which keeps us from actually feeling our true feelings. Ultimately, this is an avoidance strategy.
Uncertainty and making mistakes — Overthinking attempts to keep you from making mistakes typically by playing out any conceivable scenario. Ultimately, when we use overthinking to avoid uncertainty, we’re trying to re-gain control, but sometimes control just isn’t possible.
Judgment (from yourself or others) — Overthinking often shows up as replaying conversations, overanalyzing how you came across, or trying to anticipate what others might think of you. It can feel like if you just think it through enough, you can avoid embarrassment, criticism, or getting it “wrong.” In reality, overthinking keeps you stuck in self-doubt and disconnection, pulling you further away from trusting yourself and showing up with confidence.
A Note to the Over-Thinkers:
I get you because I am you. I too have been stuck in my head, constantly overthinking every single thing, but this is not a flaw, it’s just a really clever protection mechanism.
At the end of the day, overthinking is part of your incredible armor that has been built up due to anxiety and other parts that are feeling unsafe to be exposed.
Overthinking tends to come from a place of caring deeply, wanting to do well, or hoping to avoid pain. It does a great job protecting you, but often it can leave you feeling stuck, drained, and disconnected from the present moment.
If this post resonates, take it as a reminder that your brain is working overtime, and you don’t have to keep carrying that weight by yourself. Talking it through, meeting it with curiosity or challenging your overthinking can make the overthinking feel less all-consuming.
If you (or your child or teen) are struggling with constant overthinking, support is out there. You don’t have to face it alone. Contact me to schedule your first therapy session.
