Anxiety in Your 20s: Why It Shows Up and How to Navigate It
Welcome to your 20s. The decade of trying to do it all, when you actually do not have a clue what you’re doing. The decade of trying to figure out what you want the rest of your life to look like.
I’m partially kidding, but I also know the immense pressure that comes with being in your 20s. You’re still young, but you have to be professional. You’re supposed to relish in the freedom, but the financial constraints and future-planning loom. How are you supposed to travel, land your dream job, fall in love, get married, be independent, be your hottest self, and maybe even have kids all before you’re even 30?
Spoiler alert: The expectations are just that, expectations. You don’t have to do it all.
It makes sense why you feel anxious, maybe even for the first time. Here are a few reasons why anxiety shows up and what you can do about it:
Why Anxiety Shows Up in Your 20s (and What It Looks Like):
One of the most common reasons for anxiety popping up and lingering in your 20s is because of all the changes and transitions during that time period. There’s graduating, moving out, new jobs, friends moving away, new relationships, and so much more. While all those changes aren’t necessarily bad, sometimes our body has a hard time processing all the new and unfamiliar. After all, there is a fine line between anxiety and excitement! Anxiety often shows up in these moments not because you’re doing anything wrong, but because things are feeling unfamiliar and foreign.
Another common reason for anxiety in your 20s has to do with all the pressure. Social media (looking at you TikTok and Instagram) and the media show us all highlight reels of what your 20s are supposed to look like, and even if you’re doing it all, you still feel like you’re not doing enough. What a mind f*ck huh? The endless streams of comparison can make you feel behind before you have even started.
If you’re resonating with any of this, anxiety might be showing up in your everyday life. Here’s what to look out for:
Overthinking every decision (“What if I make the wrong choice?” or “What if someone judges me?”)
Staying frozen because you’re not sure what move to make next
Scrolling social media incessantly without intentionality
Physical symptoms (trouble sleeping, tight chest, constant exhaustion, emotional fatigue or overload)
Feeling stuck between wanting freedom and fearing you’re not “enough”
Anxiety can be subtle, quiet or it can be loud and obvious. This isn’t meant to be a check-list, more of a reminder that what you’re feeling is valid.
So You’re Feeling Anxious? Here’s What You Can Do:
When anxiety shows up, it can feel like you’re not measuring up. However, you have the power to remind yourself that actually, where you are, right now, is just right. These are the three practices that I come back to time and time again for myself and for my clients.
Practice self-compassion. You’ve spent your entire life being told to treat others with kindness, and now I’m telling you to do the same for yourself. When you find yourself stuck in the cycle of anxiety, criticizing yourself for not having it all figured out, say it out loud or write it down, and then tell yourself that it’s okay to not know right now. You might not believe it right now, but I promise you will eventually. Self-compassion is a practice that takes well, practice.
Build routines that support you. Please don’t shoot the messenger! I know how annoying this is, but building sustainable, consistent routines that you can rely on reinforces that you can trust yourself. Trust reinforces self-confidence, and self-confidence helps with anxiety. See what I did there?! Consider the routines that feel the best for you. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Can you add mindful moving for 10 minutes to your day?
Cultivate supportive relationships. Anxiety gets louder when you keep it. Relish in connection and community. It might mean pushing outside of your comfort zone at first. Join a hobby that you used to like as a kid or grab a friend and head out to an event you want try or even just say “hi” to someone at a bookstore. Relationships won’t take the anxiety away, but it will help you feel supported. Therapy is also a good place to go for support (hi!). Surrounding yourself with people who make you feel safe and seen can be an anchor in the middle of uncertainty.
Final Note to You:
If you’re feeling defeated, anxious or confused right now, that makes sense. Anxiety in your 20s is common. It just means you're human trying to navigate this crazy thing called life. The good news? You don’t have to do it alone.
If you’re finding that anxiety is getting in the way of your daily life or you’re looking to grow your confidence, therapy can be a great place to start. I’d love to work with you. Reach out here to start the process and give yourself the support you need!
Related article: How To Tell If You’re Overthinking Everything
