Back-to-School Anxiety: Supporting Your Child (and Yourself) Through the Transition

Where did summer go?! If you’re here in New York, the first day of school is just around the corner. For some parents, that can’t come soon enough. But for many kids and teens, the thought of going back or starting somewhere new can feel overwhelming and bring up a lot of anxiety.

The good news? There are ways to make the transition smoother. Here are some simple, practical tips you can use to help your child feel calmer and more confident heading into the school year.

1. Reduce the Unknowns (and Build Flexibility for the Rest)

Anxiety feeds on uncertainty, so the more we can make things feel familiar, the more grounded kids often feel. This might mean visiting the school ahead of time, walking through their class schedule or doing a practice run of the morning routine before the first day.

At the same time, part of preparing is also helping them know we can’t plan for everything, and that’s okay. Sometimes a teacher is absent, the lunch menu changes, or a friend sits somewhere new. When those curveballs come up, remind your child that they have handled unexpected changes before, and they can do it again. This builds their confidence and resilience over time.

2. Use Agreed-Upon Transition Objects and Routines

While this should not be a forever thing, some children, especially younger children benefit from a transition object. A transition object is simply a comfort item or ritual that helps a child feel secure when moving between home and school. It might be a small stone in their pocket, a special bracelet, a note in their lunchbox, or even a morning playlist you always listen to together. Reminder, the goal of a transition object isn’t to make your child dependent on it, but to help them have a piece of home when they are in school. It’s a comfort that I bet that will not need after a few days or weeks. Think of it as training wheels on a bike.

The key is choosing it together. When kids have a say in what they bring or do, it feels like a shared plan and a reminder that you’re still “with them” in some way, even when you’re not physically there. Additionally, getting clear on the expected routines for when school starts up again is also a way to decrease anxiety for you and your child.

3. Don’t Fill from an Empty Cup

I know, I know, such a cliche, but it is true! We cannot pour into our kids when we’re running on empty ourselves. Back-to-school season can stir up parental anxiety too, whether it’s about academics, friendships, or simply grief that your child is getting older.

Taking care of yourself is one of the best things you can do as a parent. That might look like taking a walk after drop-off, scheduling a coffee with a friend, or finding a few quiet minutes to decompress before pick-up. When your child sees you tending to your own well-being, it not only helps you stay steady for them, it also teaches them that their own needs matter too. You are modeling regulating your emotions, dealing with adversity, and self-care even in the chaos - all important things for your child to witness.

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Final Thoughts: Some back-to-school nerves are normal. With preparation, comfort anchors, and a well-supported parent at the helm, your child can start the school year feeling more confident — and you can too.

If your child’s anxiety is more presence and impacting them in every day life or if your child could use more support, I’m here to help. Reach out to learn how therapy can support your family this school year. Book your free consultation here!